Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thomas' story

I've done it, I have finally written mine and Thomas' story (a draft mind you). I've had this need to write about us, our relationship, since I arrived back from the drama-trauma. I think I'm identifying as a writer now - because it seems I need to write things out to process. I'm a story-teller and telling stories, even if no one hears them, helps me heal. It helps to narrate what was in order to make sense of what is.

I'm hoping that painting (as my mode of expression) hasn't gone by the wayside. I did buy some wood yesterday (to build stretchers). I was inspired on my shabbat-candle-lit labyrinth walk to paint some mandalas on canvas. But yes the story, I've written it, all 7 pages of it. That's 3,800 words (unedited).

I just wish academic papers come this easily and quickly.

I may post a link to it once it's edited. It's too long to post here. I feel very very tired now, it being almost 3am. My Wife left for Van today to bury the ashes. The headstone is ready. I almost feel envious - that she gets to say goodbye. I think that's why I started writing as soon as I got home this evening. I'm hoping to use it in some sort of ritual. I need to formally (ritualistically) say goodbye. I wrote and wrote and hadn't stopped except to wipe the copious tears away. It's starting to settle in, that fact that he's gone, I mean.

I'm eternally grateful my class doesn't start until late morning!