Wednesday, December 2, 2009

9 1/2 weeks

It's been nine and a half weeks since I started these Designer Drugs. They haven't miraculously cured my heart disease - nothing will do that except death or perhaps a heart/lung/liver/kidney transplant.

They have given me a little more fake energy. I call it fake because I now feel like I can do things, but when I go do them, within a few minutes I realize that no, I can't lift that 15lb box. (well, I can out of necessity but that I'm still gasping for breath and creating pain in my heart and lungs. This is what being alone does to ya.)

This fake energy has helped my emotional state go through this hell. At least I believe I can do it alone (even though I can't). Belief is half the battle.