Sunday, March 21, 2010

another lesson in the manifestation of illness

I'm feeling a bit better today. I spent the day vomiting yesterday - and if you know me well, you know I hate, loath vomiting. I will do anything to avoid it.
That wasn't the case yesterday.
I was able to get my ass out of bed for my morning massage and the woman also happens to be an energy worker (doesn't matter what kind) and doesn't know me from a hole in the wall. I told her the area I needed work on because the pain meds weren't working. Well when she got there, it's as if she could see right through me. She started some energy tapping, asking if I've been doing a lot of work on (xx) issues because it was really really open... it was an interesting session. A little less massage work than I would have liked, a little more answers (more than mr. telehealth nurse). It made sense why none of the pain medications were working though. It wasn't completely physical.
Within hours after that it was all coming up. It wasn't a virus, it was grief work. The stuff I've been doing anyway, but all in my head.

The Chinese have a theory about illness. It's called Feng Shui (yes, the same system that people assume has to do with furniture placement. I can assure that it's not). The letters ESP in their system don't stand for Extra-Sensory-Perception. It stands for Emotional Spiritual Physical. The ESP's of illness, dis-ease. We in the West are only just starting to buy the theories that mental or spiritual issues can cause physical illness. Our bodies store so much in formation. In my opinion that's why Fibromyalgia was so misunderstood for so long - thought of as something psychosomatic - which, it is, all in our heads. But originating from our heads doesn't take away for the reality of the physical illness.

I think this weekend's illness manifested not through viral contact (G-d knows I get enough of it at work) but through a culmination of perhaps being susceptible to viral infection due to all the work I've been doing spiritually/emotionally and timing (I happened to be co-facilitating a group on chronic-PTSD on Fridays. Sometimes it's the least favourite part of my job).

The thing about not seeing Western medical practitioners is that come Monday I don't have a sick note. I also don't have anything (proof of sickness) to give to my supervisor for why one of my sections due tomorrow isn't ready. Perhaps some footage of me kneeling over the toilet bowl would suffice (if only I had a camera).

Today, I'm going to try to eat and hope that it stays down. I haven't eaten anything since Fri (or at least kept it down). So much for my attempts at weight gain. :)