Wednesday, March 3, 2010

a blast from the past

Ok, so I'm going blow my anonymity - partially. I'm in a program of recovery. Everyone close to me knows I have big co-dependent issues, which is partially why my marriage didn't work. My recovery has been my saving grace of late. Ok, let's move on...heart stuff:

So I'm at my meeting tonight after work and this older woman comes up to me and asks me if my name is XXX (my childhood birth name before I legally changed it).

I can't tell you how weirded out I felt. Anyway, after asking her who's asking she told me who she is. She tells me that she was my grade 2 teacher at xxx school. And, of course, I went to the school she mentioned. Apparently (according to her) I haven't really aged. I know this, but I don't want to sound cocky: I really look the same (except the long hair that's gone; which is even shorter since I cut it again today, ah the freedom). I digress. So she tells me she's always wondered what happened to me because she knew of my heart disease (all the teachers did because I couldn't do gym, I was to be watched since I was very fragile etc. etc. etc.).

She was astounded that I was still alive. I was astounded that she remembered me after all these years. I try to think back to grade 2 and I can't recall it. I can remember kindergarten 5 and even 4 (I loved that art easle and yellow smock). I even recall grade one and the girls I didn't like, grade 3 and the retard room us slow readers where sent to (the janitor's closet since there was no room for kids with learning/reading issues back then); but grade 2: no memory.

So apparently my little heart became a wonder for a heartfelt teacher. Who woulda thought.

In 6 days i turn 37 and I'm telling you, I love these meds. Expensive meds. I got the bill from my pharmacy for the remainder (non-insurables/provincial insurables) yesterday and I tell ya, if it wasn't for what they're doing for me I would stop them because I'm starting to not be able to affrord them. Meds or trip overseas. Yes the choice is clear. But it's a let-down.

The ability to work and still be alive, breath and even feel good: no let down whatsoever. My Creator has something left for me to do still or these meds would have not worked, or made it my way.

To see someone from 30 years ago who wondered if I'd still be alive, and to be here, cane free, wheelchair free 30 years later: how can I not walk on sunshine today?