Wednesday, June 9, 2010

triggers

On request of a friend, I've been visiting a guy at our hospice part of work the past few days... he's dying of course and he's starting to look like Thomas. He's thin, bone thin, his cath bag is full of blood etc. It makes the 'good deed' rather difficult. But I don't think anyone should die alone and this was the belief of said friend, the only person he knew. So her and I go visit - when she's off work and when I'm off work.
I would only hope that when it's my time to go that someone does such a thing. I can't speak for him, but I hate feeling lonely on this planet.

Sitting there the only thing that comes to mind when I think of Thomas is this: thank G-d he wasn't conscious. I couldn't imagine what this gentleman is going through watching all the sings of death, staring at the walls, losing vision, voice etc. I'm not sorry if it sounds mean but I think it's by the grace of G-d that T was in a comatose state.

It's coming close to the date when he first "took ill". I have that day "off". I can't afford to do what I want (donate a memorial bench) but he's been on my mind of late again.