Wednesday, December 1, 2010

1 year - a good anniversary

It's my 1 year anniversary: at work. I can't believe I've lasted this long. Not because I don't like the job or I might not have fit but because I didn't think I would have the physical "stamina" to work full time at this stage in my life. Of course the year has witnessed 2 trips to the emergency room, lots of sickness when I first started working (I worked at an out-patient street level for the first 9 months) and a wicked summer cold/sinus infection. Not so bad for someone who's living with/dying from heart failure. Not so bad.

The past 3 months of my job was supposed to be more "cushee" moving to a quieter residential setting but that's where I've been run off my feet, being virtually the only counsellor for the entire time minus 3 weeks. Someone started, then left. Just not the right place for her I suppose.

I'm grateful that my benefits kicked in, covered my designer drugs and continue to provide me with massages and other stress relievers since my work stress has increased due to shortage of staff. I'm hoping that the new year brings new help - really. I'm working late and running the minute I get in. It's really not good for my health, as I learned with my latest trip to the ER a few weeks ago: stress is getting to me.

When I started work I had lost 20lbs due to my break-up (and 20 pounds on me was a big deal). It took a full year but I've gained all the weight back. I am at my heaviest (original) weight ever - and gaining (I hope). I have to start buying new pants if this trend continues. I've noticed because I am warmer (I was freezing all the time last winter, colder than my regular cold-self), and even have hot-flashes (yes, it may seem too soon, however perimenopause can start even earlier than my almost 38 years old). I've always had blood-sugar issues being hypoglycemic, but now that I am eating loads and loads of food (at work) my sugar seems to crash regularly and harder. It's as if I can't get enough to eat. I'm afraid to check it out because the blood tests require fasting and I can't do that. The last time I tried fasting I was in a hypoglycemic shock by the time I made it to the hospital clinic; speaking gibberish, almost passing out, not making any sense except that I pointed to my medic-alert bracelet. If it weren't for that I'm sure they would have thought I was just another crazy person escaped from the locked ward. So ya, I don't want to fast, nor is it wise for me. Perhaps I'll just keep eating (mmm, food).