Sunday, December 26, 2010

ER take 3 for 2010

I'm quite tired of being sick. There are less moments in my life again where I'm not affected by my restrictions in one way or another. Trips to the ER are in greater frequency these days. In fact, I've been there 3 times the past 5 months. With my most recent trip being last night. Last night's trip was the fastest of all: everyone else was busy eating xmas dinner, too busy to be getting into MVA's or hurting themselves or others. So within 3 hours I saw a cardiologist. That's fast- especially for a specialist.
I'm not quite sure what's going on since I no longer have my ex to interpret, although she did join us at one point. La femme francais brought me: new symptoms (that I was told to look for over a year ago) popped up and caused great concern. So, in the end, I was almost admitted to the heart hospital. They wanted to admit (just like in January almost 2 years ago) but then the cardiologist made a deal with me: I take the next few days off (done, I have them off anyway) and stay home and *rest* like for real rest, not my kind of 'ya ya I'll take it easy' kind of rest. And you know, I can't do much more than anything else right now.
Things are continuing to have difficulty to pump - my heart is having a hard time sending the blood where it needs to go: it's starting to back up. My neck vein was distended - a sign. I hate signs. My kidneys are having increasing difficulty filtering things out: more edema, gout is waking up again. So far no water in the lungs. Thank g-d. really, thank the universe. I don't want to drown to death.

My blood-pressure was really high (for me), my pulse rate too low (for me) and when measured my blood potassium level was higher than high. It was on condition of that returning to a manageable level that I was released around 8 in the morning, after an uncomfortable night.

Being xmas and all I was all emotional - xmas is not my holiday, but there's somthing about being in the ER, with two very important women by my bedside and more new realities about my health. At one point each love-interest were standing on each side of the bed. To break the heavy nature of the moment I joked that I once was the ghost of xmas past and the other the ghost of xmas future. How lucky I was to be surrounded by so much love - even love gone wrong. But how sad I was knowing how precious time is.

The same nurse recalled me from 5 weeks ago: the young one in heart failure with the girlfriend and wife!