Sunday, March 6, 2011

going to the desert...

I've been cleared to fly!

Sorta. I am picking up my portable O2 compressor this month. In order to use it in flight, and just bring it at all I needed clearance from Dr. Cardio man. When I sent an email to cardio NP I didn't hear back. So I called to follow up and she didn't even read it... long story short I booked a ticket last minute. I do not like travelling with this little time to organize things - costs go up, things are booked, etc. etc. I'm coming to terms with letting go of Israel - I have to since this trip is going to cost as much as Israel (it should have only cost half, but thanks to last minute the flights are 60% more and I can't seem to find a Jeep to rent anywhere - so much for another item off the bucket list).

When my cardio NP gave me the "good" news she was fairly condescending - the first time ever. I felt like she was trying to tell me not to live. I understand that I'm not as well as I was when I flew to Florida, or to my brother's wedding in sweltering Mexico, but if I'm going, I'm going to live it out. So she gave me the typical: watch your salt, wear diabetic socks, don't strain yourself, etc. etc. information that I already have for living my daily life in town. I felt like she was talking to an idiot. I mean, I get that I can go into an arrhythmia at any time - not just when I'm thousands of miles from home. What's the difference. I'm DNR either way. Do they really think if I'm under their watchful eye that they will be able to help me if/when these things happen?

They say I am allowed to go, so long as I know the risks, then don't bother telling me what they are, only give me warnings. So I'm going. This is my life, my bucket list.