Monday, March 21, 2011

trapped - travel II

I'm trapped with no way out. I'm praying for a solution. I could not go across the desert. I'm sick and my cardiologist was right... elevation is getting to me. I cannot board a plane because I am no longer stable. I know my body, and these sensations rendered me in the cardio-hospital 2 years ago. Now all I can do is seek refuge for a night somewhere "low" (for desert standards) 1200ft above sea level. We are driving as far east as we can to go home. The only problem is the elevation over the next leg of the journey is the highest point (at NM lowest point bordering TX). During the day it taxes me in the car but at night, I must have a place of lower elevation in order for my body to recharge. I'm scared for the rest of this journey home. I spent half the day leaving Las Vegas and mourning my trip, my loss of freedom and realizing that many bucket-list items will not ever get done no matter how much chutzpa I have. My chest hurts. Badly.
We are driving because I know in my heart of hearts that I am not stable enough to re board an aircraft.
I am angry with myself that I thought I could do this. I did not realize just how high high was. At this point it's not even money that concerns me, it's finding a safe way out. Damn Colorado plateau! It's just 16 hours to flat lands again... but it's that hump I'm very afraid of. I'm afraid of sleeping in the next town who's elevation is still twice that of Vegas. I had a bad night last night.
A good night's sleep might help - but I'm afraid to go to bed. The O2 just isn't enough.