Sunday, July 17, 2011

the sea-turtle: my totem animal

I'm exhausted. I've visited 33 houses in the past month or two. I'm hoping to be living in a bungalow, one-storey house, condo or apt. within the next few months. My energy levels are dropping - they usually do in this heat. It's exhausting. It was 34 (93) today with a humidex of 42 (107.6). I'm so grateful I have AC but so tired of the stairs. Another day of going up the stairs and staying up on the 2nd floor. I packed a few more boxes before I needed to lay down. What a life. I'm too tired to do anything (as I'm sure most people these days are since we are all moving super fast).
While I was packing up my office I came across and article on the sea-turtle and the preservation project going on in Malaysia. It was talking about how our great sea turtles are on the endangered species list for many reasons but mostly because of human selfishness. People in mainly the southern hemisphere find these living history books to be tasty delicacies. As a vegetarian that saddens me. As a human who has really come to believe the turtle is her totem animal, that enrages me. These beautifully amazing creatures have been around for millions of years - longer than the dinosaurs. They are walking history. Correction, they are swimming history. The leatherback is one of them: they are the largest turtle and reptile in the world. The article made mention of how (i forget which species) comes to land once in their lives, to lay eggs, and then waddles back to the ocean. Amazing creatures. The babies usually die since they provide food to seagulls, cray fish etc. on the beach on their way to the ocean. But, if they survive, they can live a very very long time. Slow, long living and hard-shelled, these turtles sound a lot like me. I'm stubborn, have lived much longer than anyone, medical or not, would have imagined. I'm also slow, and slowing down further. I'm still full of pride and continue to work, pull my weight. Soon that will have to change since work is getting a bit faster. The pace is picking up and I'm not able to keep up. Either I will go out of self-preservation or they will get rid of me because I can't cut it.
My mother turned 70 yesterday. I never imagined my mother as old. I never imagined I'd be around to see that. I figure she will live another 18-29 years, just like grandmaman. That side of the family has good genes, modern illnesses not withstanding. My father's side, not so much. All the males have died by age 70. Most of them in their 60s. I hope I'm here to see my 40th, and that my mom is here to see me turn 40.
Lastly, the progesterone I"m on is making havoc of my face. It's breaking out exactly where the nasal cannula sits so my face has has permanent red marks for over a month now. It's not only ugly, it's also itchy, uncomfortable and I'm getting so tired of having stuff on my face. It would be nice to sleep free of anything, for just once. I could, but then I wouldn't have enough stamina to go to work. Even my bp was 84/57 last week at the doctor's office. Yikes?!