Thursday, March 7, 2013

busyn-ness of nothing-ness

Yup so it's been quite a long time since I've written. This being a time of descent.
Well I've had none of that.
I've been spending my time NOT reading about death and dying - thank you helpful friends who've lent me books on the topic. I will, once I turn 40. For the past few weeks I wanted to have nothing of it. Instead I've knit up a storm, to the point that I've moved on from knitting. I tried my hand a crocheting and now I'm bored with that too. I've also spent some time in my much loved office/sewing/craft/meditation room which has now become the new of of the two oxygen compressors. As a result, it's usually too hot in that room, even with the window open during our Canadian winter. Most days the heat bottoms out my blood-pressure (for which is too low to begin with). I spend maybe an hour at most in spurts in that room, slowly organizing things, supplies, notions etc. I figure if I'm going to sew, I do not want to waste any precious energy on looking for a notion. I want everything disponible (at my dispense?). Well today I can say that all my buttons, threads, laces, notions, zippers etc. are nicely organized ~ in a state I've never seen actually ~ so now I can begin sewing. And sew I did! Mind you it wasn't long. I spent maybe 20 minutes at most sewing but it felt so great.
I thought about how psychoneuroimmunology ~ brain plasticity ~ has served me thus far. I want people to know it's not bogus, your brain really can change your body. I have a cardio appointment next Tuesday (oops, I guess I forgot to mention that big news). That appointment will be the first time I will be out of the house since my arrival home. We will be talking about transplants, mainly why I was never offered any. I also want to politely reem out my Dr. Cardio man. I want him to acknowledge the power of the mind over illness. Yes, I know what I'm asking for and I know it's a lot but I'm going to confront him nonetheless because that's just who I am.