Wednesday, April 17, 2013

follow-up interrupted

Well, I was going to write about my Telehealth Intake with Toronto transplant services, but now I'm updating where my sats are at. The palliative nurse took my blood pressure and it was 90/50. It's slowly dropping. Or quickly, depending on how you see time. There's really not much they can do. I am sad because advanced cancer death is not like advanced cardiac death. I could pass out due to low BP and that's that. I'm alone during the day so no one's here to shake me awake. Even then, I'm DNR so no one can resuscitate me (if that's what's needed).
I'm increasing my liquid intake and even had bread last night (bread, by nature, has a lot of salt).

I'm sad and scared. I was believing and enjoying my plateau. Now I really do feel like a ticking time bomb: fighting to not lose consciousness. I'm finding it kinda hard to keep anxiety at bay :(